February, the month of love, sweethearts and chocolate not necessarily in that order, of course. Picture this; you are getting ready to go out with your sweetheart to celebrate Valentines Day. While getting ready, you feel that subtle nervous tension that comes from anticipation of your 2008 Valentine. You want everything to be perfect, EVERYTHING! Suddenly you catch a glimpse of your face in the mirror, you stop, turn and face the mirror. In an instant it has become your judge, jury and well you know. It is the horror of all horrors, ………..you are OLD. For a second you have the thought of smashing the mirror and running, in medical anti-aging circles this is called the smash and run secondary to extreme contact with reality.
You open an inquiry, when did this happen? When did I pass the point of no return?
2007 was an interesting year for me personally. I ended a long term relationship, developed a practice in Bradenton and then was forced to suddenly leave it, started practicing Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism, came to terms with my inability to make things turn out the way that I wanted them to and oh yeah almost met my maker in a morning car accident that left me hanging upside down by my seatbelt. Don’t know how many of you have had this experience or one like it but I am here to tell you there’s not much you can do from that position. It is the ultimate surrender especially for someone like me who is used to being in control all the time. Hanging there I was unable to control much except my thoughts and even that was a stretch. It was almost like some cosmic force outside of this dimension said “ok….we told you we were in control…or did you miss that email????”
Although many people were there to help I have never felt so alone in my entire existence on this planet. I also had a profound feeling of gratitude, almost felt like I had been given a grand wakeup call and thankful I was and am able to answer that call.